The Untold

Hear Me Out                             I know you can hear the sound of my voice, I know you can see the movement of my lips, But you do not seem to understand, You don't seem to grasp anything I said, I am not asking you to move mountains, Nor am I asking you to go to the moon, If I am even asking you for anything, All I want is for you to hear me out, I am only asking for a listening ear, And for you to acknowledge my presence, To know that you truly understand. Hear me out.

(By Saara Kanana)  I was so used to being the one you loved, The one you cared deeply for and, The one you were so proud of.  I was used to what we had, Our happy forever. I often ask myself whether I was drowning you, With my expectations of you and, Somewhere along the process you got tired, And somehow freed yourself.   I failed to accept the change,  And so it left me heartbroken, Because I don't have my bestfriend anymore,  A lover only. You were imperfect but so perfect for me,  Now I don't even know where to look when talking to you, Because it is like you built this thick wall between us, And I don't have a chance in.  I was so deeply invested that I  didn't see the pages turning, I didn't smell the candle's burning out, I didn't hear your footsteps walking away,  Because what I saw next was your footprints in the sand. I guess this is where our journey ends. The end 

Written: Saara Kanana My scar Left behind by the pain I endured, Reminding me of the day events that had happened, Every time I look at it, As if the pain alone was not enough, Only that it pains no more. Although the wound healed, And all pain ceased, The scar remains, How could I let slip of the cause? Only that it hurts no more. I didn’t think I could get over it, I felt the pain when I did, And I just wanted it all to end, Now I smile when I look at it, Because I know I survived, As farther in the past the pain is, With time it became part of me, A reminder of what it took to get here, It is the price I had to pay, I can only be proud for I overcame.

I know What I felt previously, I thought that was love, I thought that was enough, And I thought I deserved the good, As much as the bad I got.   It was what I felt at the moment, And it felt all right that time, Looking back to those days, I hate to admit I was wrong, It was only what I wanted it to be.   Because here I am today, Trying to put it on paper, To explain how I feel now, A feeling that consumes my heart, But I am failing to start.   I am failing to speak my heart out, Because this feeling is unexplainable, It is beyond any word on my mind, Farther than the smile on my face, Because I know that this is love!

I dream Distance says you are miles away, Minutes away from where I am, Faraway from the place I am at, I don’t know how possible it is, To be in two places at the same time, It sounds like a lie I don’t believe. Because every night when I lay down, And close my eyes to sleep, It is you that I see besides me, And although the lights are off, And the room so dark, Your smile being so bright, It lightens up the place.  When you laugh, right in my ears, The echo brings it back to me, And I feel it over again, Starting from the bottom of my heart, Until a shy smile escapes my lips. We travel to different places, Every place so unique, All of them so appealing, With the stars shining light, So our footprints are visible, When we look back to that day, Making our trips so memorable,  And the memories we create so fresh, Every bit saved in our hearts.  As we keep walking and talking  And time going by so...

Under the Tree (By Saara Kanana)  Late afternoon on a calm day, Just before dusk had fallen, As the sky grew dark in a distance, Right before nightfall emerged. She sat by the trunk of a Baobab tree, Letting the dry leaves fall on her thick afro, Feeling the gentle breeze on her shoulders As the wind whistled around her. Murmuring to a sweet melody, A familiar sound she could hear from a distance, A high tempo of a Sparrow, A tone that was hard to ignore, A rhythm she grew fond of. She closed her eyes, inhaling it all in, Letting it all sink in her mind and heart, It was in that moment, She felt something different, A sense of peace.

Strength I have heard people define strength, I searched for the definition of strength, I could never find a right one, I was never satisfied with what I found. It was when I sat home, And realized that I have always known strength, I was always surrounded by it, I spent my whole life with it. It was always in front of me, And I never realized, I couldn’t read nor see the signs, Therefore, I always looked past it. The one that birthed me, The one that raised me, Who still carries me except, not a womb. That for me is strength. My strength comes with unending love, It comes with daily motivation, It provides me with constant courage, In my strength, I find my lifetime best friend. Nothing is worth repayment, No words are worth enough appreciation, I can only be thankful and grateful, And I am, I love you mom.

I see how he looks at me, Different everytime we are together, Every look telling a story, A different story, Always accompanied by a smile, Clearly exposing his dimples. The way he holds me, It is a feeling I cannot put in words, So gentle and with care, Communicating to me with unspoken words, Only the two of us understand, Always awakening something new in me. He makes me feel like no other person ever did, Like I'm the only thing that matters, Even at his weakest point, He gives me his strength, Whenever he is around, A sense of peace overwhelms me, With him I feel at home, I look at him and I see my future, Standing right in front of me, If this is not love, I don't know what it is. But he is a foreigner in my country, My friends and family do not approve, They are completely clueless of how I feel, Constantly reminding me that loneliness awaits, Relentlessly hurting me with words of disapproval. But I refuse to give up ...

Be yourself People might have told you things about you, And at times you might have believed, What the world say who you are or what you are, You might not believe in yourself because of what people say about you, You might not believe you are beautiful as you think, You might not go after your dreams, Because you are told that you will never achieve, You could be falling apart and thinking that, You will not overcome because that's what you have been told. Woman, stop! Young man, STOP, I tell you today to stop believing all those lies, No one knows you better than you do, No one knows what you can or cannot do apart from yourself, Listen to your heart, follow the little voice from within, Do not let the world define you, Do not let those around you to determine your limits, You can do much more than you can ever imagine, If only you block out what the world says about you. You are not too broken to think you cannot heal, Let go of fea...

Dear self When everybody has forgotten about you, Friends and family have forsaken you, When no one is there by your side, When you feel you have lost your everything, And you feel that all hope is gone. Do not be afraid, Do not fear the change, Do not hide your imperfections, Don't be ashamed of yourself, For I know your flaws and perfections. Find me within you and, Lean on me for hope, Cling on me for strength, Call on me when you feel heavy and burdened, Cry to me and I will be your shoulder. I will be there to share your pain and sorrow, Your joy and happy moments shall be mine, I will follow you wherever you go, I will be there to take every step with you, I promise to always be the one thing that never leaves. Saara N Kanana

Found Been lost for so long, Not sure of what moment she was in, Doing just what was there to do, Not really knowing who she was, Not knowing what she needed, She was happy but she wasn't herself, Mostly doing things to please those around, She was simply going with the flow. The sun set went with her worries, The sun rose and happiness returned, Cheers to the girl who found herself, The one who is happy with being herself, To the one who believes in herself. Bravo to the girl that lives in the present, To the one who isn't scared of anything, Here is to the one who realized that her happiness matters, To the one who is at peace with everything around her. This is a song of joy and happiness, A dance to celebrate her life. Saara N Kanana

Stranger Walking from place to place, Wondering in the streets of my township, Searching around the neighborhood, Every familiar place seems odd, Even the corners of my house are unusual, Lost in thought all the time As if my soul had left me, A stranger I am in my country.

Wake me up   You asked me to believe in you, I did You asked me to trust you, I did You told me that you cared about me And that you loved me I believed I believed you when you said you were not going to leave my side That you will stay with me no matter what gets in the way When you asked me to give you a piece of my heart, I gave you my whole You gave me life and took it all away I saw my life stumble right at my feet When you shot me right through my heart with a shotgun Breaking my heart in a thousand pieces And stepping on my broken pieces as you walked away With nothing left to pick myself up I should have known you lied I should have known you were a lie I should have known you looked at me and lied through my eyes I should have known you were playing games with me I wish I had known all that I know now Snap me out of it, I'm dreaming someone wake me up Tell me it will be all right, That I had a bad day and it's just a bad dream. Wake me ...

A Thousand Pieces                                             ********** ********* Things got serious between Susan and Samuel, even so that they got each other to introduce themselves to their parents. Susan studied hard and managed to improve her third year marks and she did well in her final year. On graduation day, her parents and Samuel escorted her to the hall and the most unexpected thing happened while they were taking pictures, Samuel went on one knee. At first she thought it was just a funny pose until he started saying sweet things like how he's grateful to have met her and later asked for her hand in marriage. It was a magical moment, she was overwhelmed by the joy and the only thing she could do was shed tears of happiness. She couldn't say the words out loud so she stretched out her hand instead. Her stretching out her hand was a way of accepting the p...

A Thousand Pieces Alex left me with so many unanswered questions and confusions. He asked me to make a promise before he left, a promise that I didn't honour and I was starting to blame myself for not keeping my promise. He worked on being a better version of himself to best suit me and all I ever did after he left was destroy his memory. He was my imperfectly perfect creature made specially for me. Although he left me broken when he left, all he gave me before that was love and happiness. Maybe I can still be that happy girl I once used to be.                          ********** Since it was still my birthday weekend, Samuel suggested that I join him and Tulinawa for a Sunday service. It will be good to start an additional year with blessings and I neededto give thanks too, he said. Samuel isn't just a cute face, he's a God-fearing man too and well-mannered. He is a kind of person any mother would like to have as a s...

A thousand pieces I felt the urge to run into his arms but I remembered that he is the same person that left me broken and never looked back. I stayed in bed and he came inside, he had a hamper full of everything he knew I liked. He asked if he wasn't going to get a hug, I looked at his face and the chest that has been my pillow for a while and I just couldn't resist, he is my first love after all. I ran into his arms and he didn't want to let me go, I don't know how it happened but I started shedding tears, I fought him to let me go but he wouldn't Alex: I know you are hurt and broken because of the way I left you but it was for the good of the both of us, I'm sorry. I know that I should have called but it would have just complicated things more. I'm sorry Suzzie, would you please stop crying now? I have wronged you and I apologise for that. After minutes of sobbing, he let me lay down and I took a nap. He was still there when I woke up and I just...

A thousand pieces                                        ********************** When it was time for him to leave, he asked for a hug, he held me so close that I could hear his heart beat. I found myself closing my eyes and before I knew it, we were exchanging breaths, there's a voice inside of me telling me to pull away or push him away but my body didn't have the strength to let go. Seconds later, his lips were locked in mine, it didn't last for a minute but I felt it, the whole of me felt the magical touch of his soft gentle lips and it felt good. It was  dark and quiet, it was just us, the whole has disappeared and there only sound we could hear was the sound of our breaths.                                                          ...

A thousand pieces When I started this thing with Samuel I thought it was the best thing that happened to me in a while, I was so focused on getting over Alex that I didn't think of what will happen in the near future, I didn't consider Samuel's feelings or what this might do do him, i didn't think of all the possibilities, but the guilt is starting to catch up with me now. Seeing Samuel and noticing that he's actually a good person made me want to go back in time and change what I did. Hilma was right, I should just distance myself from him and if he can read the signs, he would know that it was never meant to be serious. For the next two weeks since he came to see me, I didn't call or text him but he made sure that he texted or called everyday and I ignored him most of the times with an excuse that I'm busy with school. I guess he took the bate because he always apologised for disturbing. He called the Friday of the second week that he's free and ...

A thousand pieces Samuel called again and I don't even have a lie or excuse to tell him but I didn't want him to think that I'm ignoring him now that we are in the same place so I had to pick up this time. Samuel: (After greetings) I know you are mad at me for not talking to you yesterday, I had a very busy day and I don't want to make that as an excuse but I'm really sorry, please forgive me Me: It's okay, I spend the whole day with Hilma and you saw how she doesn't give people a chance to talk, let alone touching a phone to talk to other people We laughed about it and he asked if he could come over later but I told him that it wasn't a good idea since its not even my place. And now I was avoiding him considering that I now know where I stand with Alex.                         ********** I was here thinking that he was mad at me and to think that I almost said things I shouldn't be saying, I'm so glad he went first. ...

A thousand pieces I was woken up the following day by the smell of bacon which Hilma was making for breakfast. I made up the bed, washed my face and joined her in the kitchen. She was trying so hard to avoid last night's conversation by telling many jokes, I couldn't stop laughing but she didn't have to try because she had no idea how I felt. I never believed that crying is so relieving until this morning, I didn't believe Hilma last night when she said that it will be fine when wake up. I guess it takes experience to believe something. I feel like I had been carrying a heavy object which was lifted from my shoulders and my heart. The little droplets of water that escaped my eyes healed me, my tears fixed me. My life unfolded like spring always find a way to turn even the coldest winter  into a field of green and flowers and a new life. Everything was unclear until this moment, I held on to the past that I forgot about the present, I forgot that I still have a...